One Secret Too Many Read online

  The car stopped for a red light and Sam turned to watch her. ‘What happened?’

  She frowned, trying to remember details. No one had told her directly what had happened, but she had overheard some things and pieced together others. ‘His dad fell apart. I was—I guess I was about seventeen. It was the year I graduated. So Neil must have been about nine or ten. There was a lot of drinking. Neil, I think, was left on his own a lot. Then he got picked up for shoplifting, and somehow that led to Social Services taking him away from his father. He was in the Group Home for a while, then foster homes. I lost track of him.’

  The light turned green and Sam eased the car across the intersection and up another hill. Prince Rupert was all hills and valleys pressed between the ocean and the mountain. Sam said, ‘As far as I can make out, there were five or six foster homes after that. Probation has the details a bit foggy, and Social Services was vague, except they say the father turned Neil over to them, said he couldn’t handle him. He’s been in the Group Home these last few weeks, although I guess they haven’t seen much of him.’ He curled his fingers around the steering wheel. ‘Today, in court, they released Neil into my custody. His case will come up for trial in the fall assizes.’

  So Neil had a respite, and Sam had taken charge. ‘What will happen in the fall?’

  Sam parked against a curb high on the hill. They had passed her father’s church and driven on to the very crest of the hill. Between the houses, Alex could see glimpses of the ocean, although her view was blocked by a big old two-story house with a large glassed-in veranda at the front. Sam turned away from her, and studied the big tree in front of the house. ‘That’s going to depend on Neil. He’s charged with theft and he’s guilty. On the other hand, he’s young, and he hasn’t been in serious trouble before. If he could walk into court in the. fall and convince the judge that he’s done something constructive with his life, he might manage to get his sentence suspended.’

  ‘What can he do? He’s about seventeen, and he didn’t finish high school, did he?’ Sam shook his head and she said, ‘There’s a lot of kids around looking for work. Do you think he might go back to school?’

  ‘He can take upgrading at the college.’ He had evidently found time to do some research. ‘Right now he’s still at the Group Home. He’ll stay there for a week.’ Sam grinned and said, ‘Then he comes to me, and I’ve warned him that he’d better be prepared to work. I plan to keep him busy! From now until fall, he’s not going to have time to even think about his old street friends.’ Sam got out of the car. She scrambled out of her side and caught up with him on the pavement.

  ‘Sam, why are you doing this for Neil?’ He shrugged and she said, ‘I’m glad you are. He’s got good stuff in him and I hate to think of him wasting his life, going to gaol.’ She touched his arm. ‘But why, Sam?’

  He turned and looked down at her, his eyes shuttered. She met his gaze, and slowly it seemed that she could see through the barriers as he appeared to relax. Finally, he said, ‘I don’t know, exactly. I guess the kid reminds me of myself at his age. And he needs someone.’

  She frowned and said very softly, ‘That’s a pretty big move for a man who’s paranoid about family life.’

  ‘Yeah,’ he agreed with a wry laugh. ‘And I don’t mind telling you that, when I stop to think about it, it scares the hell out of me. But if I’ve got charge of the boy, I’d better have somewhere to house him. Come on! I want you to look at this place.’

  He grabbed her hand and started walking up the pavement towards the house with the large veranda. She found herself being towed along, protesting, ‘This place? You—are going to rent it?’

  ‘Buy it.’ He had a key out and she could see the ‘For Sale’ sign on the lawn. She looked again and saw that a big ‘Sold’ sticker had been placed over the sign.

  ‘You?’ She stopped sharply and stared up at the house. Right now she could not see the ocean at all, but there would be a panoramic view from inside. ‘Sam, this place is—a house like this isn’t very easy to sell if you decide to move. It’s so big, and—’ She pulled away from him, studying his face with an increasing sense of worry.

  He wasn’t smiling, although his words were light. ‘Last night I called up the real estate agent in the middle of the night and made an offer. He wasn’t very pleased to be got out of bed, but I guess he’ll forgive me for the sake of a commission. I—what are you laughing about?’ He was glaring at her. She had the incredible idea that he felt defensive, embarrassed by his own feelings about the house.

  ‘Sam, do you know whose house this was?’

  ‘Knight,’ he said, the name meaning nothing to him. ‘It’s part of an estate. The owner died last year, and it’s been on the market ever since.’ He added defensively, ‘I got it for a pretty good price.’

  ‘Old Mrs Knight.’ Her giggle broke into open laughter. ‘Emily Derringer’s mother.’

  ‘You’re kidding!’ He pushed back his hair, his laughter joining hers. ‘Damn! The old biddy told me she had a house for sale when she was in the office, but—I never dreamed this was it! On the agreement for sale it was registered to the estate of Mrs Knight.’ He pulled on her hand. ‘Well, come and see it anyway. Tell me if you think I’m insane.’

  As he held the door for her he said, ‘I’ve been staying at the hotel, trying to decide what I want to do. I really don’t want an apartment. I—well, I started looking around. Last week I found this place. I wanted it right away, as if— Well, this is the only place that really appealed to me, although I know it’s impossibly big, but I—I just like the place.’

  ‘It feels good,’ said Alex, walking past him when he opened the inner door. There was a big staircase sweeping up from the entrance. ‘What a banister,’ she said with a smile. ‘I wonder if Neil’s young enough to enjoy sliding down it.’

  The stairway divided the lower floor into two sections. She opened a door on the left side and found herself in a large room that had obviously once been a study. She passed through it, and found a big window at the back of the house. There was a large area of grassy lawn back here, ideal for private sunbathing or children playing. The high fence would prevent children from falling down the steep hillside.

  She murmured, ‘Even Emily must have been happy here as a child.’

  She understood why the house had captured his heart. The hardwood floors, the large windows, the antique furnishings that had been sold with the house, all seemed to combine to create a warmth that would make a person feel treasured, comforted. It would be hard to feel stress and tension here.

  But it was big, built in the days when the well-off families wanted kitchens and pantries, breakfast rooms and dining rooms. Upstairs there were four big bedrooms and a storeroom, and downstairs you could have housed a family of four with no problem.

  After he took her around the house, she went out to the veranda. This was one of the oldest streets in Prince Rupert. The lots were sizeable and many of the houses were obscured by large old trees. ‘You could make this veranda into a lovely area,’ she said slowly. ‘If it were mine, I’d have my breakfasts out here.’

  She turned to look back at him through the open doorway and found him running his fingers over the mahogany of the banister. He saw her watching and said with a smile, ‘It reminds me a bit of Jake’s place-in Vancouver. He and Jenny bought this big old place. Impractical as hell, I think, but I like the place. Every time I go there for dinner, I find myself wishing it were my house.’ He stared at his own fingers as they lovingly caressed the satiny banister, then pulled his hand away self-consciously.

  Intrigued, she left the window and moved to his side. ‘Sam,’ she said softly, touching his arm fleetingly. ‘This scares you, doesn’t it? The idea of being a home owner.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Nervously, he pushed back hair that had not yet fallen out of place. ‘Pretty silly, eh?’

  She sat on the second step, her chin in her hand, pensively watching the front door. ‘I’m not exactly in a posit
ion to scoff,’ she said wryly. ‘As you might have noticed, I have some of my own problems and hang-ups.’ He chuckled, then stepped up and sat down beside her. She could feel his thigh pressing against hers.

  ‘I thought of dividing the lower floor,’ he told her, gesturing to the study door beside them. ‘There’s already a door, and it would only need a separating wall in that back hallway to have a self-contained suite with bath. That side door gives a private entrance.’

  She nodded, visualising the separation. The left side of the downstairs formed itself easily into a three-room apartment with bath. ‘What about a kitchen?’

  He frowned, his fingers picking a piece of invisible lint from his slacks. ‘I thought of using the old pantry. That would make it complete, and having a suite would make the whole proposition a little more reasonable, not one man rattling around in a massive old barn.’

  ‘Two people. You said Neil would be staying with you? You talked as if—’

  ‘Yes, he will, but he’s a young man, Alex. That won’t last. I just hope to get him on track, try to let him see he has some choices in his life. He’ll be off in a year or so, off to college, or a job. And the apartment, it—’ He turned to face her and she realised how terribly close he was sitting. ‘Alex, I know you’re feeling that you need to be somewhat independent, but—’ He gestured vaguely. ‘I’d like you to consider coming to live in this house. It’s going to take time for the income from that book to come in. If you’d let me give you the apartment to live in—’

  For a breathless moment she had thought that he was about to ask her to marry him again. It would have been insane, because he did not love her, but she had been going to say yes. She bent her head and let the dark hair fall into a glossy curtain between them. ‘I can look after myself. I will manage. I—I need to be—I really need to prove to myself that I can live on my own.’

  He jerked away from her and began to pace the hardwood floor. He looked angry, or frustrated. ‘Alex, you could be as independent as you wanted. If you’re worried that I— We could seal off the connecting doorway. It could be just as if you were in an apartment with strangers on the other side of the wall.’

  It could never be like that. She would heard the door and know he was close. Even without the sounds of doors and footsteps, she would feel his presence when he was in the same building. His voice was very low, muffled because he was facing away from her. ‘It’s my baby, too, Alex. You’ve got to accept that I’m responsible. I guess you’re right not to marry me, but I’m—I want to help you support that child, to bring it up. I— ‘ He broke off, then the words seemed forced from him. ‘I hope you’re not going to try to keep me out of the baby’s life.’

  She shook her head wordlessly. She could never do that. She had seen his face, knew how moved he was by the life he had created.

  ‘You could be free to get on with your writing,’ he said. His back was rigid as he studied something on the windowsill. He pushed his hands into his pockets, causing the fabric to strain across his buttocks. ‘I work long hours myself, so you wouldn’t have to see too much of me.’ He turned slowly, confronting her with eyes that were expressionless. ‘I could have renovations done to give you a nice office. You’d probably want the study as a bedroom, but I could—’

  She shook her head. ‘Sam, that old dining-room—it’s perfect already. I could put a desk in the window, with bookcases. It would be a beautiful place to work.’ She could see herself there. She could work when she felt the need, knowing that no one would call her away. She would not have to hide what she was doing. ‘It’s tempting, Sam, but—well, if I did accept, my mother would be right, wouldn’t she? You’d be keeping me.’

  He looked down at her with a frown in his eyes. ‘So what, Alex? Don’t I have a responsibility to do that?’ He grimaced, not liking the sound of his own words, knowing that it wasn’t the way to persuade her. He added very gently, ‘Alex, I would like you to say yes. I would like to do this for you.’

  She was silent for a long moment. The desire to be independent of everyone, to be free, warred with what she felt for this man. And practicality. She had only a little money, and it would take time to get more. If she accepted Sam’s offer, she could feel free to devote her time to writing. Otherwise she would need a pay-packet almost at once, and she had no real prospects for a job.

  She stood up. He was a patient man, standing almost motionless, watching her, giving her time to think without making her feel pressured. ‘What about a compromise,’ she suggested hesitantly. ‘I’ll take the apartment. I’ll pay half the going rate for rent, and the utilities.’ He frowned and she said quickly, ‘Sam, I can’t take it for free. You’re right, I do need help, but—well, it’s got to be a reasonable amount. I mean—’

  He nodded wryly. ‘You’re trying to tell me that you’re willing to let me help support the baby, but not you?’

  ‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘That’s it.’

  He walked through the doorway to the study and looked out over the town to the water. He concentrated on a sailboat that was tacking behind a large freighter on the other side of the harbour. ‘You drive a hard bargain, Alex. You realise that I’m not used to this. I’m used to getting my own way.’

  ‘I believe it,’ she conceded with a laugh. ‘You doctors are all the same. Egos the size of houses.’

  They laughed together then as he said, ‘That’s why I picked such a big house, to house my massive ego.’ The sound of their laughter echoed into the empty study. ‘We’ll fix that,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what happened to the furniture in this room, but we’ll bring some furniture in here, get rid of the empty sound.’

  She looked around at the floors. ‘Emily probably took the desk. It must have been a big old desk to fit this room. Sam, do we have a deal?’ she asked uneasily, thinking of the furniture and wondering how to approach the issue. She would need a bed and a table at least, but she was not about to let him buy furniture for her. She made her voice businesslike and said, ‘Is it agreed? Half the rent, and I pay the utilities?’

  ‘Half the rent,’ he agreed easily, adding, ‘But I pay the utilities. If we’re going to split the electric bill, I’d have to get an electrician in here and rewire the whole place, put in a separate service. It would cost a fortune.’

  ‘Sam—’ She faced him, scepticism in her eyes. ‘I could give you an allowance for the electricity. Add something to the rent for—’ He shook his head and she thought she saw a warning flash in his eyes. It was true that he was used to getting his own way, she thought, and she had pushed him a long way from an insistence that they marry. ‘All right,’ she agreed abruptly. ‘You pay the utility bills.’

  ‘There’s just one more thing.’ He came close, combing her hair back with his fingers, holding her eyes with his. ‘I’m not in any hurry for the money, and it’s going to be a while before you have any to spare. Why don’t we agree that you pay me the rent when you get your first royalty cheque?’

  CHAPTER SIX

  ALTHOUGH it was easy enough to laugh about Emily Derringer in Sam’s presence, Alex found herself avoiding the woman. There was no reason to believe that she knew about Alex’s pregnancy, but Alex knew that Emily would be the first to know when the word got around, and she dreaded the moment of confrontation.

  Meanwhile, the secret was safe enough—temporarily. The MacAvoys certainly weren’t telling anyone. Alex didn’t even know if Maggie had told Michael, but assumed she had. It was hard to imagine Maggie keeping any secrets from the husband she openly adored.

  Her mother was not about to spread her shame, and her father never talked about anyone’s affairs. But, naturally, on the day Alex moved her things out of the manse and into Sam’s recently acquired house, the whole town of Prince Rupert knew.

  Sam and Neil helped her to move. It should have been a tense day. Her mother was sternly disapproving. Her father had disappeared for the day. Alex had hardly seen him since returning home from her stay with Maggie on the waterf
ront. It hurt, realising that he was avoiding her.

  It was obvious that in her parents’ eyes she was quickly descending the road to hell, yet when she walked out of her old home it was as if a shadow was lifting from her life. Across the street, a neighbour was staring as Sam loaded her boxes into a borrowed truck. Alex saw the curiosity, but it seemed not to matter.

  ‘Why didn’t you bring your Corvette?’ she teased Sam. Neil laughed as he came up carrying a light box in one hand, balanced with the cast on his other arm.

  Sam grinned and shook his head at them both. ‘You can ride in the Corvette, but the boxes can’t.’ They shared the front seat of the truck, Alex riding between Sam and Neil. ‘You’ve grown a bit,’ she told the boy.

  ‘Yeah,’ Neil said gruffly, almost the first word he had spoken to her. Later they sat in the confusion that was her new home and shared a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Neil seemed tense, until Alex said, ‘I don’t know why I brought that radio. It hasn’t worked in months.’

  ‘I’ll look at it,’ offered Neil. He used a kitchen knife to open the case as she and Sam sipped at cans of Coke.

  ‘You don’t have a television?’ Sam asked her.

  ‘No. I’ll write my own stories. I’ve got lots to do without television.’ Her eyes were on the bay window, planning how she would turn it into an office for herself. Neil was sitting there now, her radio in pieces on the seat beside him.

  ‘Don’t work too hard on the writing,’ Sam cautioned, his hand touching hers fleetingly. ‘You need time to relax, too. Look after yourself.’

  ‘Look who’s talking! Aren’t you the man who works long hours, who says I’ll hardly see you although we’re sharing the same roof?’ She followed his gaze to the window, and said quietly, ‘That’s the Neil I remember, happiest when he had something in pieces. He’s always loved things that plug in or wind up— You know, you might want to talk to Michael. He’s an electronics engineer, and he’s planning that big marine centre. He must need employees, and I’m sure Neil has an aptitude for electronics. Maybe—’